Seven Knockdown Reasons to Get a Puppy.

The minute I knew I was gonna marry Hannah, my mind was struck with amazing images of little kiddies in sundresses running through tall grass, family eggnog around Christmas time, and Hannah & I getting old together.

But I'm an impatient guy. Kids cook like a Crock-Pot, Hannah hates eggnog, and we both still look pre-puberty. So, I'll need something to hold me over.

A puppy.

I don't care about the breed, I don't care about the nothing.

Of course, the reasons for getting a puppy are inherently obvious... but I'm still here. Lap is puppy-free. Facebook has no selfies of me & Tasha (her would-be name.)

Hannah, I'm going to say this nicely but firmly.

WE'RE GETTING A PUPPY. 

Please.

Think about it?

(Love you.)

Just consider a few of the many knockdown reasons. (This list is not exhaustive.)

1. The most awesome stress relief tool. 
Those pet medication commercials have been saying for YEARS that pets help you LIVE longer because they reduce STRESS.  I'm stressed! You're stressed! We're juggling some dangerously stressful things right now -- working, breathing, living with me, all at the same time.

It's basically a totally justified preventative care measure. There's GOTTA be a clause in Obamacare for it. Who knows? (Seriously, probably nobody knows.)

2. We'd be on the social map. 
Pet owners are cooler than boring people. EVERYBODY KNOWS THIS.

Exhibit A: http://magazine.foxnews.com/celebrity/celebrities-and-their-exotic-pets

And I'm not even ASKING for a kinkajou like Paris Hilton. (What is that thing anyway?)

There's even a well-known slogan for this phenomenon: Want cool? Get drool!

3. The perfect baby warmup. 
I'd love our little puppy like one of our own, but I'd also be willing to experiment on it as preparation for a baby someday.

Dream with me for a moment.

Think of all the organic, MSG-free, high-fructose-corn-syrup-lacking, non-gluten meals you could feed this dog, all without (much) fear of a lawsuit coming our way if something goes horribly wrong.

Admit it. You'd love it. I'd love it. The dog would probably hate it but that hate would be vastly overpowered by our love.

4. Our families would love it. 
In a recent survey of my sister, 100% of the respondents were totally on board with us getting a puppy. In addition, she was quoted as saying this:

"I'd like it because then I would have another friend."

The simple question is this: Do we love our families, or do we not? Completely up to you...

5. They're cheap cuteness. 
Let me be clear. I really think babies are better than dogs.

But dogs are cheaper. And I'm willing to bet I could scrounge one up for a grand total of free.

6. Develop an immunity for your pet allergies. 
I know there's that one allergy you have that might hold us back with this. But I once read on Yahoo! Answers that you can develop a cat allergy immunity if you hang around cats.

Must work with dogs too? Right?

7. I'd smile more. 
Don't you like it when I smile?

Let me know when you decide! Love you!